Ramblings of an SCUM

The curtains are drawn on one of my favourite players of all time, I'm talking about of cos "The Divine Ponytail" Roberto Baggio. I'm not going to extol about his wondrous career or the perfect example he had been for younger footballers around the world, I won't be able to do him justice. One of the the most popular footballers of recent times, and certainly one of the most talented. World football and Italy lost one of their favourite sons, much like when Fandi decided to hang up his boots for Singapore, except in the case of Robbie, he was knocking on the door for entry into the Azzuris squad at the advanced age of 37 and with such talents like Inzaghi Vieri Totti and Del Piero already in contention. The only player to hit 200 goals in Serie A, playing his trade at Fiorentina AC Milan, Inter Milan Juventus Bologna and Brescia, he has always been the player that team mates sought inspiration. One of the possible regrets perhaps was that he never had a world cup winner's medal or a European Cup's winners medal.....or maybe I've spoke too soon....maybe just maybe he'll get called up for the squad and a shot at glory one last time....We can only pray for Roberto Baggio

This is Farni

Diego Armando Maradona
for my money is the greatest footballer ever. As he lies now on the hospital bed fighting for his life, I will attempt to convince you why this is so.
Did I hear some 3 lions supporter bellowing the words cheater, handball? Talk about Maradona in Sillypore, you'll inevitably come to the discussion about his infamous 'Hand of God'. This is in no small part due to our colonial history and the wide-spread support that the english teams enjoy in our land. Many a myopic Singaporean lived and breathed english football and think the world of it, afterall its suppose to be the land where football is born. Looking back in footballing history, an unbiased fan will realise the incompetence of the English game, even the World Cup winning team in 1966 wasn't the best team around and the controvesy surrounding the way the World Cup was won was lost on many a blind Sg fan of the 3 lions. The referee for the German quarter-final was English and the referee for the England quarter-final was German, go figure. Hungary routed England 6-3 in Wembley in november 1963 and then 7-1 in Hungary in 1964. Portugal with Eusebio was for my money way better than the English at the world cup.
Anyway as with any major football tournament. there would be an unrealistically high number of Sg soccer fans thinking that England will win the tournament, but instead most of the time the ENgland team have problem even qualifing for it and sometimes not even making to the tournament proper. The 1986 team was however one of the strongest England have put out to the world cup and imagine the disgust that these fans feel when their team was knocked out by a handball. The local journalist played to the sentiments of these fans, writing what they want to read and vilify Maradona till now. Many a newspaper report will always extol the injustice of the game, yet none had ever written that the best goal ever in a world cup was also scored in that game as well by Maradona. It was conveniently forgotten by our local journalists, surprise surprise. I'll not even try to describe the goal, for its beauty and excellence is beyond words.
Now back to the man. The little man with dancing feet and untied shoelaces that seems to tie themselves to the ball. I remebered in one Serie A game where the opposing team defending a maradona free kick tried putting a man on a post. He promptly put the ball into the other corner! Such is his technical ability. His rise came at a time where defensive football was reaching its peak, where the art of defending was recognised and teams all over the world was honing their skills. Compared extensively to Pele for the greatest footballer ever, Maradona's era was a completely different epoch in terms of defensive capabilities. Back in the days of Pele, the defending of teams was comical. Teams try to outscore one another, scores of 7-3, 8-4 was not uncommon. Pele's claim on being the best rest primarily on his participation in 3 world cup winning team and scoring over 1000 goals in his career. He was playing in the States with the New York Cosmos?? Hardly what I would consider as a competitive league. The world cup Brazil won in 1958, Pele was 17, the star of the tournament was instead Garrincha the little bird and Zagallo. In 1970, the team is widely considered the best ever with the most number of legends like Tostao Jairzinho Gerson and Rivelinno. Argentina's win in Mexico 1986 had just 1 man, Maradona. Not many will argue against that Maradona Single-handedly won Argentina the world cup. And again in 1990, again with a weak team, he brought them to the finals in Italy. Such is the ability of the man, that in 1994, Argentina broke apart after he was tested positive for Coccaine. Other footballing greats all had a powerful team to complement their abilities, like the orange army in 1974 for Cruyff and the German team for the Kaiser, the 'Marvellous Magyars' of Puska, the portugal team with Eusebio.
Perhaps its his own superb confidence in his abilities that made him seem so arrogant and aloft from the media. Pele and his squeaky clan image may have done mighty lots for for football, but its the footballing genius of "The Little Man in the Number 10 Shirt" that is the stuff of dreams. May the wizardry of the man live long in the hearts of footballing fans. Long live....
Diego Armando Maradona

Thank all the kind souls who through one mean or another, tried to physically inject html codes knowledge into my skull through various methods of osmosis. But alas, the lack of visual stimulant (Think leggy lian/chiobu bending forward wearing a delectable flimsy blouse with plunging neckline, engrossed in putting the gloss to me blog by combating the evil codes from hell) has however severely dented the learning curve of yours truly. It didn't help also that the composition breakdown of my head is 90% skull, 5% skin and 5% vacuum, and bonelike material of the skull is not semi-permeable and not susceptible to the osmosis process. So here I am imploring again for there to be world piss, love and the greater powers of humanity to bestow upon this deprived old man the assistance of some lithe nubile pulchritudinous female in the goal of making this blardy page look better.

Thanks again for the kind souls that have been out drinking with me these past few nites. I am finally able to bring my blood-alcohol content to an acceptable level, think combustible blood. If I play my cards rite, I may actually be in our local tabloid AKA The New Paper for being the only Singaporean to date to die of SHC(Spontaneous Human Combustion), although there's never been evidence, empirical or otherwise, that supports the theorem that higher alcohol content might trigger SHC. I just hope they interview the correct ppl to truly decorate the deceased(me). I'm so sick of reading about the hardworking, nice, intelligent, socially altruistic undergraduate being the undeserving victim when smitten by god's wrath. So if it so happens that I'm struck down by a falling lamppost or flatten by a runaway bus or crushed under the rubbles of mrt tracks, please direct the media to ppl like the demented bovine or pyscho bitch or whoever knows that my ghost will not come back to haunt them because they said the truth.

Extract
Reporter: Can you describe the deceased?
Friend1: Ugly son of a bitch. He makes the elephant man feel better about his looks. Fouled mouthed cretin, lazy good for nothing bum who indulges in alcohol and gambling. Jerk, and I dun mean self physical gratification. If there ever was proof that God is just, this is it.
Reporter: I can't possibly put that down. You have anything nice to say about your deceased friend? There's a template I have to follow or the paper won't sell?
Friend1:Ok this mudderfarker here, treated me to a sumptious helping of beer. SO that he can take a crap on my face when I'm pissed drunk.
Reporter:Make something up, anything, I'm desperate!
Friend1:The world is a better place w/o his existence, it might be the first good deed this scum has done in his whole life.
Reporter(Getting desperate, sees a weeping old woman by the side of my body):Madam, are you related to the deceased? Can you tell me something about him? Why are you crying?
Old woman:I'm his mother. This worthless piece of shit here, didn't buy any insurrance and gambled away all his money and refuse to let me know his ATM pin number.
Reporter:!@#$(Sees young attractive female with an inkling of resemblence to Ayumi Hamazaki wailing about her losses!)
Reporter:Miss, why are you crying? Is this your BF, can you tell me more about him?
Friend2:I got to know this bastard here yesterday at a club and he said he'll buy me a 3 carat monster if I sleep with him. What about my diamond!!!!! Waaaaaaa.

On the newspaper
A 26 year old man was found dead by the police at ........ His colleges at work think that he is a really nice person, caring and approachable for help. The picture depicted below is the deceased's mother and the girlfriend who are planning to get married next month. The grieving mother told us her son is very fillial and would always give her all his money, he don't smoke gamble or drink and is well liked by all his neighbours as he makes a career out of helping old ladies crossing roads. The wife to be of the deceased told our reporters that they've been together for 8 years and he has been a wonderful caring boyfriend never batting an eyelid when scantily claded babes are in the vicinity. He's also very nice to her parents and is the model son-in-law boyfriend.

Bummer!

I could hardly farking believe it....nobody wants to drink on this BEAUTIFUL thursday nite, despite my best efforts in coercing, cajoling and even tried manipulating and enticing(picking up the god damn bill), nobody and I mean absolutely freaking not a soul of my meagre aquaintance wants to go drink! Weird world this has become. Ok so I'm bored and thats why someone's got to pay, and if you're directed here because someone told you there's free porn to be found on this url.....I lied and now you'll be cursing and swearing much in the same fashion as I did because NOBODY'S GOING DRINKING WITH ME!!!!! Bah humbug!

What's the world coming to? Too many friends getting attached, and too little time left for me. If I sound like I'm whining? I SO FREAKING AM!!! Perhaps I should get my arse outta the bar stool and actually try to be the socialable animal that homosapiens are supposed to be. Whats the worse that can happen....I get a new drinking buddy? Or i get alcohol splashed across my face(I still get to lick it up!!)? Or maybe just maybe, it turns out to be a guy!!(GASP!) Alas, I can't do that while I'm drinking, roots seems to grow outta my well rounded arse and attach itself physically to the bar stool. Hell, I'm lazy even to go to the gents and I go when I absolutely have to...think 2 jugs worth of beer in pee. Ah crap...a call maybe there's hope.

I will get myself a programming degree of sorts, and by that i dun mean the VCR kind. For the obvious undoubted talent that yours trully MOI have in other aspects of life, ie my tactically brilliant manuevres to get ppl to pay for my indulgences in alcohol, I cannot rewrite the html codes of my blog to make myself look more professional with originality and personality. I mean even a COW, yes a cow, bovine, overgrown heifer, mik producing mammal with horns, could decorate his blog with sophisticated enough looking additions to actually pass for being an expert programmer. So the COW did have lessons at an undisclosed learning institute charging exorbitant rates for teaching you everything you already knew about computers, but my incompetence is unforgivable. Shut up dun laugh, I can't do a hyper-link here big deal, just type in the freaking URL to appreciate the webpage design or let his unique sense of online personal and humor entertain you.

http://dahcow.blogspot.com

Anyway, I'm seriously in need of professional help here to add the little bit of ummph to my blog. And if you are female, young, attractive physically, free and sexually casual, I need your help to come to my nest to help me break the cryptic codes of HTMLs to reformat the piece of shit you are currently reading. A little bit of knowledge in programming will be a nice plus point. I will reward you for your efforts and time.

Anyway, I've gone back into alcohol withdrawal stage, showing symptons like running nose and inability to speak, talk coherently. I've had not had any had alocohol have, had, has hadden, beer for the past 9 days. That's 5+4 days or 2+7 days or 0+9 days or 3X3 days......watever it is, its 8 days too long before I've had a wiff of alcohol and its killing me. So please if there are any souls kind enough, preferably if you're female, young, physically attractive, free and sexually casual, to take me out for a drink, your efforts will gratitiously be rewarded. And to da cow, you mentioned a cute waitress somewhere.....just wondering if she fits my bill.

Must imbile alcohol, can't make mind work.....

There has been something that has been bugging me for the past few weeks. Rather it was something that has came to me as a shock, or rather that has been totalli different from my perspective of the morality of Sg youth today. 2 of my friends within the short space of 2 days told me that they did not engage in any sexual acts even though they have been attached with gf for a long time, out of respect for their respective gf's wish. It is certainly a far cry from what I've grown to known and understand of the casualness that our youth today view sex myself included. Although I have certain principles regarding the satisfaction of my human biological needs, meaning that I won't disregard all scruples in my pursuit of sex or my stand of not engaging in the services of prostitute, it was heartwarming to know that in these times where ONS and promiscuity is commonplace, there are others out there who gives a hoot before letting lust takes control of their mind. While these friends of mine, I'm sure are the minority, to put it crudely, aren't getting any, I'm sure they have made a conscientious decision on it and represents their matureness in dealing with the situation. I hypothesize and try to put myself in their shoes and I really couldn't be sure how exactly would I deal with it. Would I have cause duress and undue pressure on the relationship because I think virginity is overrated or would I respect her wish? I really don't know and maybe I dun wanto be in the situation to find out. Anyway for these two friends of mine, hats off to ya for doing what you think is the right thing, and you've earned my respect for this.

Anyway, I've gotten 2 online bloggies friend, please do visit their blog and I'm sure they'll provide entertainment aplenty with the humorous style of writing.
http://seastatefive.blogspot.com
http://sickofthis.blogspot.com

I suck at all this IT stuff and dunno how to put them up as links

"This is not warcraft in space. It is much more sophisticated"
For the most ardent computer gaming freaks, I'm sure you'll now be itching to find that CD that you've chucked away somewhere because you know that its such a good game, and you'll revisit it again sometime in the future. Yes I'm talking about the best RTS ever made, the Blizzard monster created in 97, Starcraft. After some coaxing from my fren, I've decided to part with 40 big ones and bought myself a battlechest to relive the days of seeing my carrier battle group going up in smoke after being swarmed by a larger group of battlecruiser. Hell, I loses as often as I did 3 years ago, but I'm still having a helluva time getting my well rounded bottom kicked. Words cannot possibly fully extol the brilliance of this game, let's just say there are still hundreds of thousands of players logging on to battlenet everyday to engage in the slugfest 7 years after the game is launched. Its not that games like WC3 or C&C is no good, but rather Starcraft still sets the standard for comparision for RTS games, and is considered perfect by many gamers. The game is just as enjoyable for the newbie who just discovered the joy of bunkering up 4 marines against the zerglings as for the world champion who just killed 5 dragoons with his 5 scvs. The timely arrival of 1 more unit can swing the outcome of a battle decisively, or the superior micro skills which allowed for 2 seconds advantage in gathering 200 minerals can become painfully crippling. I cannot even begin to describe the high that I get after doing battle for half an hour, taking a breather with my face flushed and lighting up to cool my overheated brain fingers and visual sensors. I'll go as far as comparing to sex, it might even be better than sex!!! Hmmm, no wait, ok it doesn't compare to sex but its pretty darn close. WTF am I still doing here.....the allure of my high templars laying waste to a fleet of BCs enticeme to leave....

"My lack of control is indeed disturbing"

I LOVE JD!!

Anyway, she replied and waddaya know, ITS HER!!!! Woohoo, I mean outta the 38,547 person that have the same name, I could tell that she's the one....what does that goes to show??? We've got a special connection!! I make myself wanna puke and its not from an overdose of alcohol. ANyway you've gotta love the kewl reply that she sent me ass, somewhere along the line...of cos its me who else can it be....soooo kewl so refined such beauty and elegance, no of cos she din say that but she's swell......snap outta it me imbecile.....stop this public display of contemptible disgusting behaviour.....but but but its her!!!!!! surely that is excuse enough for my humiliating bravura. Before I loose myself argueing with myself, I must by now realise that fact that my fate is consigned to worshipping the one goddess for the rest of this miserable life. Bad Karma! Its the only way that I can explain the strange phenomenal of such utter devotion to a single person for 10 freaking years.(In case you haven notice 10 years makes up a substantial part of my existence up to now) Did somebody sneeze, I swore I heard a ,"Woooser". FUCK YOU! and its not my alcohol speaking.

To the many well wishers and intelligent ppl in my life that has given the heart felt advice,"Give it up....she's not worth it....blah blah blah!" Thank you very much, I appreciate the genuine concern and wise admonition....20 years later when the dust have settled and with my dying breath when I finally see the true light, I will send you a SMS telling you that you are right and I am deluded and I'm glad to have such a wonderful friend as yourself. Right now please bear with me, I'm such a pain I know but its my choice. And now the disclaimer. If you are an ex-lover of mine, I'm sorry that I put you through such an ordeal of never being the one foremost in my heart, my sincerest apology....I can only say you are all great girls, if only....Sorry! I mean it. I hope if there is a next life I can make it up to all of you one way or the other.

Yeah for all of you who think I'm such a bastard, my only defence is that I took a long shot hoping that there may be someone out there who will dislodge the firm grip this person who I have not seen in years have on my heart. SO far no one has been successful, but I can only hope that someone can deliver me from evil(I din mean to call u evil, its a figure of speech), or I can finally end up together with her which has an even more remote chance. I'm not torturing myself(Yes, I like pain but this is too much even for my tolerance), but I refuse to deceive myself just to feel better.

Ah crap, i've rambled on for too long. DId I mentioned she's gorgeous and such a GODDESS???

Its so damn ain't over. For those of you who knows who I'm talking about, yes I'm a LOOOOSER!! I mean there I was happily joining the new fad on the net with my very own friendster account, vilifying and terrorizing everyone that happens to have the insane karmic retribution to be associated to me in the broad general classification as a friend, looking for new victims when I come across THE NAME. Friend of a friend of a friend blah blah blah, you know how those things work. Reading the testimonials put up by her friends left me utterly convinced that the person is indeed her, I mean why do I even bother rite? I've practically swore off never to be infatuated after 10 FREAKING YEARS, and life goes on. But there I was lying to myself(God, I hate that), no its just a friend thingy, I mean this's friendster for crying out loud. It took me the whole of 16 hours with 2 tests in between them, with incessant "should I" or "should I not" screaming at each other in my skull. Finally like aliens in the far away star of Alpha Centuari, I decided to make contact with the puny earthlings after swooping around unnoticed like an eagle in the sky for its prey. If that's not proof enough, my reaction after that was pathetic to say the least. I changed back to my home page, frantically analysing everything that the bunch of nincomputs, for lack of a better word in my head at that time, penned as my testimonials. I mean I've got an image to maintain before THE ONE. I can't have her find out any flaws that I might even remotely have chance of possessing. I was going to weild the mighty sword of censorship until it all became so apparent to me. I did not care what everyone else finds out about me, but I gets so worried that she will find out(not that there's anything really sinister about me), the realisation dawned upon me, IT"S STILL AIN"T FREAKING OVER!!!!, and I'll be damned.

I've got 2 freaking tests tmr and here I am trying to add a new entry, not that I've something important to write. Its my nature to procrastinate and delay putting off what I am suppose to do. Speaking of test, it seems that my inherent ability to pass test without any mugging or studying has deserted me. Horror horror, I may actually have to start studying for written examinations. It's a frightful thought, one more so because of my procrastinating nature and its been so long since I did any studying I think I have forgotten how it should be done. Crap! Ok the time now is 10p.m. and I better do go and study....ahhhhh a new sms, it seems that I'll be able to put it off some more. Someone's asking me to go out. Seeya. Let you know if I pass soon.

Ah, tmr's gonna be Good Friday, suddenly I'm feeling religious and I'm not even a Christian. God it feels good to finally have a public holiday to take a break from the monotony of work work and more work. For those of you having a ultra long weekend....balls to you, I've gotta work thru the entire weekend. Anyway I'm still trying to let the reality of the fact that AC Milan got knocked out of the Champions League by Deportivo La Coruna sink slowly into me. The utter disbelief that I felt when I logged on and found out that Depor beat Milan 4-0 last nite, its logic defying and incredulous. AC Milan reigning European Champion 6 times winnder of the European/Champions League boasting talents like the evergreen Paolo Maldini, best defender in the world Paolo Nesta, the most complete striker in Adrivy Shevchenko, the prodigy of Kaka, the genius of Manuel Rui Costa, the imperious Clarence Seedorf, combative Gattuso, Andrea Pirlo, the safe hands of Dida, multiple world cup winner Cafu and of cos the razor sharp Pipo Inzaghi. Not since the class of 94 had we seen such class with combative prowess and defensive soundness in a team. The last great Milan Era of Arrihgo Sacchi with the Dutch Trio of Gullit, Ryikard and Van Basten is surely the other team that springs to mind. Football is indeed a funny thing though....and I'm still in shock....

PASSION How many of us live life without passion? I stumbled upon this sad realisation that I'm trudging along in my execution of meaningful existence on planet earth devoid of passion. By passion I don not just mean there's no one that sets my beating heart fluttering and palpitating. Rather I'm saying that I've lost my passion for everything, I'm going about in life like a monotonous zombie. I simply cannot go about engaging in an activity with the child like enthusiasm anymore. Play game....sure, so I lost big deal. Check out that babe...woohoo nice face perfect legs, what has it gotta do with me? Tonite's the big game between AC Milan and Read Madrid....Inzaghi scores, ZZZzzzz....you get the drift. I have lost the passion for life. It sets me wondering how many of us, Singaporeans especially, being immersed in our relentless pursuit of the finer things in life, are inexorably having the sparkle in us squeezed physically out of our soul? Ponder over it the next time you have nothing to do(Thats probably 25 years down the road and you're retired).....are you being zombified?

NO, the above axiom does not serve as validation for my incessant alcoholic behaviour, and NO I do not have passion for drinking.