Friday, December 17, 2004
As of this moment Everton is currently lying 2nd in the EPL, 4 points behind league leaders and more importantly 5 points ahead of Man U and 12 points ahead of Liverpool. God it feels good to see my team after years of being stranded in mid-table mediocrity and being relegation battlers to finally let me hold my head up high and sneer at all my United and Pool fans frens. I'm enjoying every moment while it lasts, and if Everton win the league or qualify for the champions league then believe me, I'll be having a ball!!. Its been 17 longs years since Everton win the league and I can't believe I've waited this long, maybe I'll wait 17 long years for THE ONE.... DAMNIT......must be the medication talking.
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Monday, December 06, 2004
5th Dec 04, two of my very very best friends tied the knot with their beloved. And the coincidence is such that both of them held their wedding at Raffles the Plaza and I was able to attend both their wedding by shuttling to and fro.
There's however 2 issues that I'll touch on today. First of all is my alcoholism. Friends at both sets of wedding were truly concerned about moi's health and gone to great lengths to dissuade me from partaking in my drinking binge. While there's no way they could be successful but it certainly warms my heart to know that there're ppl in this world that cares a hoot about me to be genuinely concerned about my health.Thank you ppl!
While reminiscing with my friends of 14 years the many football matches that we had played, I realised that I've been playing football for the past 19 years. I've tasted glorious victories and bitter defeats and those memories are amongst those that I cherished the most. Deep down inside I know that I'll never play as well as I could, I'll never give up the game. While I don't play as often as I would like now, but I'll still follow the progress of my fav team. EVERTON rulesz. Forzza Toffees. While so many years of playing the game gave me a really bad knee which I'm sure will cause me untold pains in my old age, I have definitely no regrets.
As usual at weddings, I'll contemplate my own future. While I'm sure I'm not man enough to attend Kelly's wedding when the time comes, I'll defintely give her my blessings for a blissful marriage. And the best thing is that I've enjoyed myself at today's weddings for the first time without the bitterness of my own unrequited love. I think I may have finally got over Kelly.
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There's however 2 issues that I'll touch on today. First of all is my alcoholism. Friends at both sets of wedding were truly concerned about moi's health and gone to great lengths to dissuade me from partaking in my drinking binge. While there's no way they could be successful but it certainly warms my heart to know that there're ppl in this world that cares a hoot about me to be genuinely concerned about my health.Thank you ppl!
While reminiscing with my friends of 14 years the many football matches that we had played, I realised that I've been playing football for the past 19 years. I've tasted glorious victories and bitter defeats and those memories are amongst those that I cherished the most. Deep down inside I know that I'll never play as well as I could, I'll never give up the game. While I don't play as often as I would like now, but I'll still follow the progress of my fav team. EVERTON rulesz. Forzza Toffees. While so many years of playing the game gave me a really bad knee which I'm sure will cause me untold pains in my old age, I have definitely no regrets.
As usual at weddings, I'll contemplate my own future. While I'm sure I'm not man enough to attend Kelly's wedding when the time comes, I'll defintely give her my blessings for a blissful marriage. And the best thing is that I've enjoyed myself at today's weddings for the first time without the bitterness of my own unrequited love. I think I may have finally got over Kelly.
Wednesday, December 01, 2004
Finally I'm at peace. For the first time in the longest time, my mind experienced stoical tranquility.
I've got to thank THE ONE GODDESS for giving me 10 years of happiness. The past 10 years have actually been the happiest times for me, this despite the apparent despair, misery and desolation that I've mistakenly assumed myself to be suffering, as a direct consequence of unrequited love. As the end of 10 years loomed, I find myself questioning this, Do I have to eventually force myself to hate her in order to get over her? Do I harbour any ill-feelings for her for spurning me? I've always thought its pain I'm suffering all these years, but today I realised its not. For she've given me everything if not love for the past 10 years. All the tribulations and ordeals I've had to suffer from, from the despondence to jubilation, from sorrow to joy, all the various highs and lows in emotions I've experienced are all possible because I've loved her so much. Without this passion, my life would have been bland and tasteless. How then can I possibly blame her?
I think i've also find the answer for myself the age old question of whether its better to love or be loved. The answer has got to be the former. When I love someone, I just have her in my heart at all times, just the thought of the person would be uplifting to the spirit. Its a sort of mental dependency not unlike that of man to god. On the contrary, to know that someone loves you deeply, can be such a burden at times. A sort of mental torture even, the pressure of having someone who loves you so unconditionally, for you to be always being good to the person and not wanting to hurt him inadvertently or otherwise, can be overbearing. It is possibly worse when you can't reciprocate the love and you feel as if you owe the person big time.
When I slotted her birthday card into her mailbox, and walking away along the route I've taken countless times in the past, with one last habitual backward glance at her window, somehow deep inside I know I'm finally ready. An undeniable smile slowly crept into my facial features. As I slowly trudged along the various footpaths revisiting and reminiscing the memories of the times when I walked down the same path, raindrops started pattering down on my back. I continued until it was not possibly to advance further in the growing rain without getting totally drenched. I find myself facing the playground, where I confided to all my pains to numerous times in the past. I lingered, thought and reconciled. I loved the moment, the torrential rain, the day and my deliverance. Finally I have peace. A fitting end it was indeed!
Thank you, Kelly.
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I've got to thank THE ONE GODDESS for giving me 10 years of happiness. The past 10 years have actually been the happiest times for me, this despite the apparent despair, misery and desolation that I've mistakenly assumed myself to be suffering, as a direct consequence of unrequited love. As the end of 10 years loomed, I find myself questioning this, Do I have to eventually force myself to hate her in order to get over her? Do I harbour any ill-feelings for her for spurning me? I've always thought its pain I'm suffering all these years, but today I realised its not. For she've given me everything if not love for the past 10 years. All the tribulations and ordeals I've had to suffer from, from the despondence to jubilation, from sorrow to joy, all the various highs and lows in emotions I've experienced are all possible because I've loved her so much. Without this passion, my life would have been bland and tasteless. How then can I possibly blame her?
I think i've also find the answer for myself the age old question of whether its better to love or be loved. The answer has got to be the former. When I love someone, I just have her in my heart at all times, just the thought of the person would be uplifting to the spirit. Its a sort of mental dependency not unlike that of man to god. On the contrary, to know that someone loves you deeply, can be such a burden at times. A sort of mental torture even, the pressure of having someone who loves you so unconditionally, for you to be always being good to the person and not wanting to hurt him inadvertently or otherwise, can be overbearing. It is possibly worse when you can't reciprocate the love and you feel as if you owe the person big time.
When I slotted her birthday card into her mailbox, and walking away along the route I've taken countless times in the past, with one last habitual backward glance at her window, somehow deep inside I know I'm finally ready. An undeniable smile slowly crept into my facial features. As I slowly trudged along the various footpaths revisiting and reminiscing the memories of the times when I walked down the same path, raindrops started pattering down on my back. I continued until it was not possibly to advance further in the growing rain without getting totally drenched. I find myself facing the playground, where I confided to all my pains to numerous times in the past. I lingered, thought and reconciled. I loved the moment, the torrential rain, the day and my deliverance. Finally I have peace. A fitting end it was indeed!
Thank you, Kelly.
